Random Thoughts from 25-35 Year Olds

You probably saw this list a few years ago and it's probably about the time when you've forgotten it completely and will again find it hilarious. (This is a list which is all over and the below thoughts are not necessarily statements I would stand by. For instance, the item about having a 4 year old son asking about what would happen if I ran over a ninja. I neither have a child nor think a ninja will ever be run over - ever.)

- I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

- More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

- I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

- Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

- That’s enough, Nickelback.

- I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

- The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

- Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

- There is a great need for sarcasm font.

- Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it

- I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

- I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

- The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

- A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

- Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

- Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

- Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

- Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

- What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

- While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

- MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

- I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

- Bad decisions make good stories

- Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

- Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

- If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

- Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

- There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

- “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

- I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

- I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

- I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

- When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

- I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

- Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…

- As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

- It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

- I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

- I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

- Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it

- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

- My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

- It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

- The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, I saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

The First of Many: A Devotional

Here is a post from another blog I wrote in last year. Mostly I posted devotions there and I want to streamline what I have - keeping some and scrapping the rest. Here is the first of many of such posts. A special thanks to my friend, Sunny, for reminding me there might be worthwhile stuff on the other page - I hope you find this to be just that.

This post requires some writing. Stop and get out some paper and a pen. You're also going to need your Bible.

OK, first, write out a definition of hope.

Now a definition of character.

Now, I know what you may be thinking, "I can just read through this first, I don't really want to write anything down. Maybe I'll come back and write later." Stop that. You'll need these in a later part. You know those card tricks which start with, "Choose a card, any card?" How often do those work when you refuse to do something in the beginning? Never. This is like that, minus the slight of hand. So, either write or stop reading. It's up to you.

Now read Romans 5:1-5, looking especially at 3-5. In fact, read vv. 3-5 three to five times. I'll wait...

OK, now, think about the relationship Paul is declaring:

1. When you suffer it is actually generating something in you rather than just destroying (which is what it feels like [cf. John 15:1-9]). It is producing a quality which gives you longevity under duress; endurance.

2. Next, not only does suffering produce endurance, but that even is working on your behalf. It not only makes you last longer when you're in the fire, but it makes YOU into a different quality of person. Endurability means that the type of person you are has been upgraded and is now worth more. Character is to a person what the 4 Cs (carat, cut, color, clarity) is to a diamond - the better the character, the rarer and more valuable the person. Suffering, in the long run, makes you a person of higher quality.

3. And then he keeps going and this is where your definitions come into play. In your definition of 'character,' was there anything in it which generated hope? Would your explanation of it make one think, "Hope comes from that?" Paul's definition does. He seems to be saying (if my reasoning is correct) that the higher the quality of you as a person, the more you will hope. Now, why do you think he would say that? This is a question the text leaves you to work out and one which I want you to try to answer now. Scripture sometimes connects the dots for us and other times leaves the inferences for us to make.

This is where I'll leave it for you: articulate in writing (or conversation to someone this morning) as to why character produces hope.

The Head & The Heart

The Head and The Heart

I've recently (last few months) been listening to The Head & The Heart (after Drew Norris had found them and loved them long time, of course). I just can't get enough. I got to see them play a little venue in Knoxville (the Bijou) with Drew and my love just increased all the more. I hope you enjoy them just as much.

Here's a shot of the Bijou:

Too Picky

Perhaps you have a friend you think is 'too picky' when it comes to who they'll date. You may be thinking of that person right now, but quit pointing fingers at them. Back to me.

While you may rightly label this person 'too picky,' you're putting them in a tight spot, without a commendable option. Consider the following:

1. They stay where they are: This is a problem because 'too' applied to any adjective means 'too much.' "There's too much pickiness about the way you go about selecting women, Tom," is what we mean when we tell him he's 'too picky.' What we mean is that his standards are unrealistic, impossible, and unfair to any gal he meets and that, in good moral standing, he should change them.

Very well, let's say he does. Now he's in option #2.

2. He decides to be 'not as picky.' Well, immediately you see the dilemma. Now it seems that our boy Tom might be described as 'not picky' - almost that he is looking for just anyone.

"Female?"
Check.

"Single?"
Check.

"Wants to be with me?"
Check.

"Approved."

Tom's description of how he ended up with Miss Right Now becomes most unflattering, "Well, you see, most of my boys at the five 'n dime pointed out that my standards were way too high. I took note, decided to stop being 'too picky' and, wouldn't you know it, here I am a man who's spoken for."

The real problem, as you probably see, is the label 'too picky.' It's too vague. Perhaps Tom has ended up with an angel and he was just being too picky about hair color or favorite sports teams. He wasn't 'too picky' about everything, just some things and we think his standards on those things to be too high - maybe he could reconsider them.

So, when we hear that someone is 'too picky' about who they will date, perhaps the right question to ask next is, "Too picky about what?"

On Letter Writing

C. S. Lewis was definitely a man of letters. His 3 volume collection of letters is over 3000 pages (while not exhaustive or too generous on white space). The introduction, by Walter Hooper, had two interesting notes on letter writing I'll share.


One: The auditory rhythm is important:

"When Lewis dictated letters to me, he always had me read them aloud afterwards. He told me that in writing letters, as well as books, he always 'whispered the words aloud.' Pausing to dip the pin in an inkwell provided exactly the rhythm needed. 'It's as important to please the ear,' he said, 'as it is the eye.'"

While he didn't always please the eye (in terms of legibility), it's hard to deny that he's readable. In fact, I just reread the previous sentence and found it read better with an edit. Point, Lewis.

Two: Having something to say sure is nice:

"Jack wrote to him [his brother Warnie] in March 1921, 'Perhaps one of the reasons why letters are so hard to write and so much harder to read is that people confine themselves to news - in other words think nothing worthing writing except that which would not be worth saying.'"

It seems like there are two types of things one can discuss: news and ideas. Perhaps the better letters have both.



Now, write me a letter.

I Won't Do this All the Time

But I want to share with you a few amazing things I've found out about in the last few weeks. What can I say, Justin just has good ideas with his posts (see two posts below).

If we're friends on Facebook, you may have seen me post this:


And here are some musicians which are worth your time:
1. James Vincent McMorrow: If you like Iron + Wine and Bon Iver, listen.

2. The Head and The Heart: If you like Mumford & Sons, click away!

3. Buried Beds: If you like the style of M&S and the whim of Avett Brothers.

Enjoy.

Perhaps My Eyes Were Too Big

A coworker of mine is incredibly diligent (a quality we really appreciate at work). Two years back, she showed me her goals for the upcoming year. It included some easy obstacles and some challenging, but none were too outlandish. She even wrote down that she planned to graduate with her master's degree - something that was pretty much in the bag at that point. "It's still a goal of mine for 2010, so I'm writing it down."

I'd often started years with resolutions which didn't last very long, but there was something appealing in her list and I gave it another go. To my surprise, I finished some significant goals and felt the list helping. Unsurprisingly, I didn't finish them all (the list can only do so much). As 2011 rolled around, I decided to write down some new ones.

I won't tell you all of them right here, but here's where my eyes were perhaps a little too big: I want to end 2011 having finished every CSLewis book I own. I counted all of the pages I have to read to get this done and, though I'll keep the number to myself, it's in the thousands and is closer to 10K than 1K.

I'm telling you this for a specific reason: I'm about to do a ton of blogging about CSLewis. A ton. Well, maybe a ton. There's something about Lewis in particular that makes me want to write and I thought about generating an entirely new blog about it. Instead, I'm just giving you a heads up. So, heads - it's coming.

Probably.