Too Picky

Perhaps you have a friend you think is 'too picky' when it comes to who they'll date. You may be thinking of that person right now, but quit pointing fingers at them. Back to me.

While you may rightly label this person 'too picky,' you're putting them in a tight spot, without a commendable option. Consider the following:

1. They stay where they are: This is a problem because 'too' applied to any adjective means 'too much.' "There's too much pickiness about the way you go about selecting women, Tom," is what we mean when we tell him he's 'too picky.' What we mean is that his standards are unrealistic, impossible, and unfair to any gal he meets and that, in good moral standing, he should change them.

Very well, let's say he does. Now he's in option #2.

2. He decides to be 'not as picky.' Well, immediately you see the dilemma. Now it seems that our boy Tom might be described as 'not picky' - almost that he is looking for just anyone.

"Female?"
Check.

"Single?"
Check.

"Wants to be with me?"
Check.

"Approved."

Tom's description of how he ended up with Miss Right Now becomes most unflattering, "Well, you see, most of my boys at the five 'n dime pointed out that my standards were way too high. I took note, decided to stop being 'too picky' and, wouldn't you know it, here I am a man who's spoken for."

The real problem, as you probably see, is the label 'too picky.' It's too vague. Perhaps Tom has ended up with an angel and he was just being too picky about hair color or favorite sports teams. He wasn't 'too picky' about everything, just some things and we think his standards on those things to be too high - maybe he could reconsider them.

So, when we hear that someone is 'too picky' about who they will date, perhaps the right question to ask next is, "Too picky about what?"